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I (29F) have virtually never been single since I was 16 and I don’t know how. Needing advice on how to do this at my age

I have been in relationships since I was 16. Been cheated on, been the other woman(unknowingly), been absolutely in love and my heart broken over and over again (my mom even calls me the queen of heartbreak). Now I am finally trying the single thing mainly because I have to (my ex {26M} who I am insanely in love with broke my heart because he wasn’t ready for commitment), but also trying to be single because I know I need it. I don’t know how to be alone, don’t know how to feel like I don’t belong to someone. My identity had always been “so and so’s” girlfriend. I feel like I’m in an identity crisis. I am now insanely lonely and depressed. My best friend made a goal for me to not text anyone for attention for the next month and then when the month is up we make a new goal for me. I am dedicated to this goal because I know I need this. Plain and simple, I just don’t know how. Please help with any advice. I know this might seem ridiculous and fairly vague, but I honestly don’t know what I am doing.

TL;DR I am 28f who has not been single since 16 and am now single and don’t know how to do it

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level 1

See a therapist for your deep rooted attachment issues. Its time you took some responsibility for your own life instead of being a weight on others. Hope this helps kick start your new life as a single powerful woman in control.

level 1

I am right there with ya.


This is the reality I'll be facing soon but you have to focus on what feels right to you. More than anything, do the 'right' thing (not societally right, but right in your heart and your conscience).


I've had a friend who gave me that very same goal a long time ago XD XD I failed it.... So I'm hoping whoever else sees this has some good advice.


I actually feel confident about it now, considering I feel so disconnected from my soon-to-be-ex and spend tons of time alone anyway. I feel financially stable and independent enough to not feel horrible about it. But the simple fact that I haven't been single pretty much since 16 too still terrifies me.


Good luck to you,you can get through this<3

level 1

I was the same way. Went from one relationship to another from 17 to 35. After the last girl, in told myself I wouldn't get in a relationship for a year. I stuck to it. Actually lasted 2.5 yrs. In those 2.5 yrs I found out who I was again. I traveled alone. I went to concerts alone. I hung out with friends. There were quite a few hook ups, so I didn't lack in that department, but was always open ended and free. Do you. Have fun. Live.

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